The Steady Decline
by WretchedEscapist
Summary: He woke up in this strange land, unable to remember his own name. With the belief that the dimension called 'The End' will hold the answers he seeks, it isn't long before a deadly obsession is formed. Read if you like Endermen.
1. Chapter 1

-PART 1-

Night was falling.

Now would usually be the time I retreated back to my home; the first signs that the sun was creeping just a little too low on the horizon. Night was dangerous, the darkness brought monsters, terrible, man-eating creatures.

When I had first woken up in this land, I didn't remember anything. I didn't remember my name, I didn't remember where I'd come from; I had knowledge, I still knew how to read and to write, and I had a hatchet which I knew was used to chop wood, but my life before waking up in that swamp was nothing but a blank slate.

When night fell for the first time, I had been preyed upon by the monsters like a rabbit in a foxhole. Many times I thought I'd died, only to wake up in the same spot I had when I first started out here, as if from a dream. I learned to dig dens for myself in the ground, use pickaxes to break the rock and create a cavern where I would at least be safe for a little while. Before I could create proper weapons, I had attacked the lesser, timid creatures with my bare hands, sometimes using my hatchet to break their fragile skulls if I knew they were too strong for me to wrestle into submission, or if I wasn't up for a chase. I knew they were food, I knew I had to kill and to hide to survive.

Eventually I happened upon a village at the edge of a forest, and it was there that I learned that life didn't have to be so hard. I remembered my ability to speak; I remembered how nice it was to have someone to talk with, even if they didn't fully understand me. These people didn't look like me, they weren't humans, but that didn't matter. They were an extremely docile race; they'd sooner be killed than hurt a living thing.

In some of the bookshelves I found in their houses, I found books written in English, among the many that were written in whatever strange language these people primarily spoke. I learned many things about this world, about the creatures that inhabited it and the things I could do to give myself an advantage over them. I began to study the structures of the houses these people built, and learned how to craft basic things such as torches to light up my rooms and keep the monsters at bay, and chests to keep the excess objects I collected safe.

I went out on my own into the forest again, and built a log cabin near a river. I managed to complete the entire structure in only a few days. It had one floor, complete with an attic where I would sleep, safe, far from the ground where the monsters lurked.

Eventually I knew I had to find more resources, and according to the books I brought with me, the only place to look was down. I built a basement, and from there, started to tunnel down at an angle. It was dumb luck, really, that I would only have to go so far before I happened upon a layer of rock that just didn't look right. Curious, I began mining away the rock above this new layer, and soon found that it expanded far beyond what I wanted to reach. I decided to break inside.

What I found could only be described as an underground castle, combined with some sort of prison if the amount of iron bars was any indication. The things I would find down there would change the course of my life forever.

They would be the things that would lead me to where I was now, sitting up on the branch of a tree as I watched the sun drift ever lower below the horizon, the light fading to give way to dusk. I wore only my torn black hoodie, jeans, and a shirt to match. I knew spiders could see perfectly fine in the dark, but creepers and zombies could not. I'd played many a game with them before tonight, dressed in all black like this, holding absolutely still only to have the monster just pass me by as if I didn't exist. I could climb the trunk of a tree just about as rapidly as a spider could, and this ability had saved me from many a creeper attack.

Naturally, the only things I had to worry about were those huge arachnids. Although they were quick, they were easy to kill. They didn't concern me much, though their bites did hurt like a thousand bee stings delivered all at once. I'd been nearly incapacitated by them a few times, nearly killed twice, more if you count the times a zombie or skeleton decided to join in.

I was never very careful. Along with my memories, it seemed my ability to truly _fear_ rather than just _know _had been taken as well. I never thought of it as a problem; if I'd gone through this world with nothing but fear, I would have never gotten as far as I was now. I would have never learned the things I had.

The noises in the forest began to steadily increase. I heard footsteps, the rattling of bones as a skeleton crept by somewhere below, the moans of a zombie from somewhere not too far from my position. I gazed up at the stars above me for a moment, just a final second to ponder what I was getting myself into. I strove to find the fear, the instinct to survive, not just the bare will to do so. I found only emptiness.

It was time to move.

I got up and began climbing and jumping through the trees, moving with as much stealth as I could manage, and always keeping an eye out for any multiples of glowing red eyes. I saw zombies, creepers, and skeletons, all of which failed to notice me, and with every passing minute I grew more and more discouraged. This was the fifth night in a row I'd been out here, searching. I'd begun sleeping in the day and living off of my stores of meat and bread considering I couldn't very well hunt at night.

In the months before this, I'd been practicing my fighting skills, learning to use a bow to better defend myself, I'd even went head to head against a zombie more than once using nothing but my bare hands and strength alone. I'd done everything I could to become stronger, even if speed would in the end be my greatest asset, considering I only stood about five feet three inches tall and most of the monsters absolutely towered over me.

I did all of this for one elusive creature, a beast which my life had, under no uncertain terms, begun to revolve around. Ever since I'd read about them, I knew they would be my greatest clue second to actually reaching The End itself. They would be part of the answer, the reason why I was here, why I'd been taken to this place. I had no hope of escape, no delusions of ever leaving this hell, I just wanted a reason.

In every book they were called only one thing: Endermen.

I had encountered them in the past before I knew what they were. Dark, tall creatures, that would be there one second and gone the next. I only saw them in the daylight, and it was only twice. Each time the creature would be gone upon a double take, and I would be left wondering if I'd really seen anything at all.

I continued my usual route through the forest, but as I went on and grew more and more disheartened, I had the thought to try looking elsewhere. I veered off my beaten path, and even dared to start traveling upon the ground instead. I reached the outer edges of the forest, farther than I'd ever gone before, and still I saw nothing except the typical monsters.

Suddenly I heard a noise behind me, and I flinched just in time to have an arrow whizz past my ear and embed itself deep into the bark of a tree in front of me. I didn't give myself time to look at my attacker, as I immediately jumped onto the tree beside me and began to climb for safety. I climbed up onto a thick branch, and gazed down at the skeleton, which only stared back at me with those dark, hollow eye sockets. That's when I heard a loud, grating squeak somewhere behind me. I only had time to feel the deep, sinking dread, just before a spider easily the size of a large dog landed upon my back.

Twisting, I grabbed the beast by the legs to tear it off me, and I lost my balance on the branch right about the same time I felt those fangs dig themselves deep into my arm. My scream of agony was lost when I hit the ground and the breath was forced from my lungs. Grabbing for my sword, I impaled the spider through the abdomen before it could bite me for a second time. I shoved the twitching carcass off of me, freeing myself.

Gasping for breath and in an immense amount of pain, I got up and pressed my back against the tree, facing the skeleton. I noticed that there were now two zombies that had been alerted by the commotion and were slowly approaching. I could see the dull, glazed look in their eyes, and just how severely their flesh had begun to rot. Even as they hobbled closer, I saw a rather large strip of skin get torn from one of their legs by a downed branch, revealing a layer of decaying tissue beneath.

Realizing I had stalled for much too long now, I focused on the skeleton before me and dove to the side to dodge the arrow it had just let fly in my direction. Seconds later, I launched my own attack, and took out the monster's leg, fatally crippling it. After that, I was able to flee. Mid-run, though, a shooting pain exploded in my right leg and I fell to the ground with a little cry of shock.

I looked to see an arrow, gone right through my calf muscle so that the head was clearly showing at the end of a long, bloody stock. Looking back up at the crippled skeleton, I realized it had paid me back for what I'd done to it. With adrenaline racing through my veins, I hardly comprehended the magnitude of my injury and just forced myself up to continue my escape; the zombies were closing in.

I was only able to limp so far, before one of the zombies grabbed me by the sweatshirt and yanked me backward. I screamed with sudden terror and lashed out at the creature with my sword, half decapitating the monster before it finally relented and the second one leaped for me. I dealt with that one easily enough, and continued running, or rather, rapidly limping away. When I finally found a spot I felt safe enough in, I got down and snapped the head off the arrow in my leg, before grabbing the feathered end to begin pulling it out. I bit my lip hard enough for it to bleed, as the rough wood surface grated against the sensitive tissue inside and caused searing rivers of agony to tear through me. I tossed the broken arrow aside, and then fell heavily against the tree. I felt nearly too weak to go on, but I knew I had to.

Rather than continuing to run and risk getting attacked, I instead turned to the tree beside me. I used the last of my strength to climb up onto the highest branch, where I laid down, weapon in hand, to wait until daylight broke.

That night's disastrous failure did not discourage me. After I had recovered from my injuries, I was out again, roaming the forest in search of Endermen. I even built a couple watch towers on the tallest points in the forests to the north of my home, where I would be safe and at a high enough point to observe large sections of the forests and hills at a time.

Every night I did not see one, my obsession only grew stronger.

One day I was on my way back home through the thick of the forest, when suddenly the sky grew unsettlingly dark. Rain began to fall like a monsoon had just decided to roll in, and immediately I dove for the nearest shelter; a pine tree.

I curled in a ball against the trunk, and watched with growing apprehension as the storm seemed to only grow in ferocity before my very eyes. Lightning flashed, and the boom of thunder that followed made me jump. I curled up tighter, and shivered from the cold. Sudden movement caught my eye, and I noticed, incredulously, that there was a zombie roaming around in the woods a good distance away from me.

That's when I learned that monsters not only came out at night; they came out during thunderstorms, too. I slowly uncurled and looked around cautiously, making sure I could brandish my sword if necessary. So far, there weren't any other signs of danger.

Lightning flashed, and thunder boomed. I flinched at the sound. It reminded me all too much of a creeper exploding, something I would never forget. I wished I could climb this tree, get off the ground to feel safer; the creatures would only grow in abundance, one spotting me was an eventuality at best.

For seemingly hours, the storm drew on, and throughout it all never once did I relax. I could feel my heart thudding in my chest, but the rain pounding the ground all around me allowed me to hear nothing else. The rain had begun to drip through the needles and thin branches that had only barely protected me from the downpour before now; I had to find somewhere else.

I stared at the barely burning torch that marked one of my not-yet-explored caves a few yards ahead of me; it was risky to seek shelter inside that cavern, I'd only lit up part of it and a good portion was left dark and was likely crawling with monsters. I figured that in there, at least I'd be able to hear something coming.

Taking a minute to look both ways beforehand, I suddenly dove for the cave, breaking into a sprint. The rain thundered all around me, and at once I was drenched by the torrential downpour. I was a little more than halfway there when a flash of lightning lit up my surroundings, and the thunder that followed shook me to the core. My heart leaped in my chest just as I did when I finally met the ledge to the entrance. I slipped and clutched at the ledge for dear life when I realized the jump was a bit higher than I'd remembered. My hands found no purchase on the slippery leaf litter and foliage there, and I immediately fell to the hard ground below, landing flat on my back.

The rain fell on my face and made me feel as though I was drowning when I tried to catch the breath that had just been knocked from me. The back of my head ached from the blow against the solid stone, and I felt incredibly dizzy as I forced myself up to crawl into the cavern and away from the cruel clutches of the raging storm outside. Leaning my back against the wall near the entrance, I took some time to regain my bearings.

My clothing was drenched, and I quickly moved to remove my sweatshirt, setting it carefully beside me. My shirt had long since been reduced to nothing but a torn tank-top, and right now it clung to my lean body like a second skin. I didn't bother with my jeans, either, they were loose and torn enough that the dampness didn't bother me as much. With a sigh, I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes, just for a second.

That's when the strangest sound caught my attention. It was hard to describe; a sudden _'zip'_, only it was deep, and _loud_. It echoed through the cavern, and caused me to go from nearly-asleep to fully alert in two seconds flat. It was unlike anything I'd heard before.

I sat up straight and peered into the semi-darkness of the cave, feeling a sudden wave of fear, a rare sensation of true, chilling terror that felt like ice sliding down my spine. Somewhere beyond where the light of my previously placed torches reached, I saw something move inside the shadows, and slowly my eyes picked out the silhouette of a dark, tall creature, with long, spindly limbs.

It was then that I knew 'fear' wasn't an emotion I simply couldn't feel. It was a learned response, something taught while young to keep an animal from running into danger and being promptly slaughtered by it. Fear was real, and it was necessary. I felt it now, and it was a jarringly powerful thing.

The monster moved, and I saw the purple sparks ignite around it; visible in the pitch black like stars but they offered none of their light to the environment that surrounded them. Realization dawned on me just as the creature turned, and I nearly caught sight of its eyes.

I quickly looked away, feeling my heart hammering in my chest, my breathing shallow, panicked. No, I couldn't react like this, I couldn't be this afraid when I'd finally encountered the very thing I'd been desperately searching for. I quickly dove for my sweatshirt, and began clumsily rummaging inside it, feeling for the object I'd brought with me for this occasion.

Over and over again I had to remind myself that the monster wouldn't attack me, but that did nothing to still the trembling in my hands as I finally found what I was looking for. It was a mask, one I'd made to look like the face of a jack-o-lantern. I'd read that Endermen, for some reason, wouldn't attack you even if you looked at them if you wore a pumpkin on your head. Since I didn't have the energy to lug around an entire pumpkin all day, I made a mask instead. It was only on a bare hypothesis that it would even work.

With shaking hands, I strapped the mask onto my head. Too afraid to move with any hesitation, I quickly faced the monster and instantly my eyes were drawn to its own. They were more brilliant than I could have ever imagined; huge and glowing in the darkness, purple just like the sparks that ignited and fell like petals of a flower all around it every time it moved.

It saw me, and it was only by sheer terror that I stared back at the monster for as long as I did. Eventually, though, it broke our little staring contest and turned to head off further into the cave. I was able to breathe again. My theory had worked, I was still alive and the creature hardly even acknowledged my presence.

If fear did not influence my actions I might have followed the creature, tried to get a better look at it, but even after all these weeks of searching my curiosity could not overpower instinct. I had no way of knowing if the beast would tolerate my presence so near, mask or no. I backed up against the cave wall again, and sat there, shivering as I awaited the storm to end, and dreaded the appearance of the more numerous and less kind monsters that dwelled here.

Eventually the sun came out again, and despite the light drizzle that continued to fall, I left the cave and headed back in the direction of home. At this point I figured I was safe from Endermen and I took off my mask, and hid it back inside my jacket.

The nights to follow would be much less desperate, much more calculated than my blind fumbling of before. I had seen an Enderman for the first time, _really_ seen one. Before I had only speculated on how I would react, and I never thought I'd feel that bone chilling terror that the beast had provoked in me. I had to find a way to quell that fear; I had to get _closer,_ somehow.

Someday I would have to slay them to retrieve the pearl that resided inside each and every one of them. Twelve Ender Pearls were needed to activate the portal to The End. Right now, the prospect of fighting even one seemed incredibly farfetched to me. How could a monster like that even be killed? They were huge, powerful, they could move with a speed that couldn't even be seen with the naked eye. They were terrible, and they were magnificent. So rare it would probably take me over a year to kill twelve of them, let alone _find_ that many.

The first thing I did was build a watchtower in the desert that bordered the forests. After that, I headed back home to pack more supplies and rest for a couple days before beginning what was going to be my longest stakeout yet. This time I was absolutely determined to both find and get close to an Enderman. Close enough to touch was my goal, but I doubted I'd have the nerve.

Sleep came easy after I got home. I was so exhausted, the moment I reached my bed I just lay down and passed out before I could even get under the covers. It didn't last long, however. An undetermined amount of time passed in comfortable darkness, before I woke up for reasons I couldn't name.

Immediately, I knew something was wrong.

The torch I kept lit at all times above the window near my bed had gone out. The attic was pitch black aside from the pale blue moonlight streaming in from the two windows that were parallel to each other. A sudden, deep feeling of dread filled me, and I realized I couldn't move. I was frozen with fear, or something else, and that's when I noticed the eyes.

Two pale dots pierced through the absolute darkness at the corner of the attic furthest from my bed. I hadn't noticed them before. Had they always been there? I'd never felt terror like this, as my gaze remained locked on those beady eyes, unable to look away. I could hear my own frantic breathing, my heart pounding in my ears and yet it all seemed so far away.

The thought to try to find my sword crossed my mind, but I remembered I'd left it on the first floor. I couldn't move, and even if I could there was no way I was getting up and running to the ladder, because the beginning of the ladder was _right in front_ of whatever that was, standing in the corner, watching me. Judging by where those eyes were located, I realized the creature's head probably nearly brushed the ceiling, and I hadn't made this attic short by any standards.

I'd taken my gaze away from the intruder's for a second, to glance at my only escape route, but when I looked back whatever it was had suddenly gotten _closer_. The dark silhouette loomed over my bed, uncomfortably humanesque in appearance except its limbs were much, much too long. Those eyes bored into mine, I suddenly couldn't breathe; it was as if the fear itself was enough to cut off my air supply like an invisible snare around my windpipe.

I wanted to scream, I wanted to run, to flee, but not even closing my eyes could block out the sight and I remained paralyzed. The creature's hand slowly reached out for me, I saw its long, spidery fingers as they approached my face. Finally I was able to scream, and suddenly, I was mobile.

I launched myself off the bed and found myself on the floor of the attic, screaming as I frantically scrambled for the wall to slam my back against it and face that monster. It didn't take me long to realize the attic was lit. The monster was nowhere to be seen.

Panting harshly, I brought my hand to my mouth. I started to question the reality of what had just happened. A nightmare, that's all it was.

I wouldn't be caught sleeping for the rest of the night. Never in my life, have I ever felt as alone as I did in the long, painstaking hours that followed.

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><p>AN: I'd like to mention I hate the first person POV and this is the first time I've ever touched on it in years... I'm also new to horror that isn't just flat out gore... I'd like to hear some opinions, and maybe some encouragement to continue, it would mean a lot to me.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N1: Since I had a reviewer wondering about it, my character is male. Sorry I didn't seem to find a way to make that clear before, again, I'm rather new at this POV. Though... I just realized I used a male pronoun in the description so... Well if that wasn't enough, now you know. Also, you can go to my deviantart to find a pencil drawing of him, I'd link it here but I don't believe FFN allows that. (The picture's title is FIXATION)._

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><p><strong>-<strong>PART II**-**

The ocean that bordered the desert turned out to be a godsend. The sweltering heat of this sandy wasteland was too much for me to bear in the daytime, so I went swimming often. Today, however, I was too busy being on the lookout for creepers since there had been an influx of them last night for some reason.

I took off my shirt instead of stripping down completely for a swim, and soaked it in the comparatively icy water. Without hesitation, I took the still-dripping article of clothing and put it back on, the wet fabric sticking to my skin and making the task only slightly more difficult than usual. Instantly, I felt the cooling effects as the water evaporated under the unforgiving sun, and it was immensely relieving. This was a technique I'd picked up on after making the mistake of swimming with my clothes still on only to end up freezing when night finally rolled around.

Still crouched at the shore, I turned my gaze to the sky, using a hand to shield my eyes from the bright sunlight. I saw that the sun had crept lower than I'd expected; it was time to get back to my post. The good thing about being out in such a barren place was that it was easy to spot enemies. I immediately noticed three creepers when I climbed up from the bank, but they were far enough way to not be a problem. I made it back without any trouble.

It always brought a certain tingle of excitement when I saw the sunset. Only twice since I'd taken up watch, three days ago, had I seen any Endermen. Once was from afar, where I'd determined it was too dangerous to get close considering the other monsters that barred my path. The second was near enough that I got down from my tower and attempted an approach. I was intercepted by a previously unseen skeleton before I could even get a good look; after I killed the sneaky monster, the Enderman had disappeared.

I sat in my watchtower and stared out at the sky as it steadily grew darker, feeling my stomach twisting in knots from the anticipation. It had been like this every night since I got here. Only tonight the last remnants of my fear had faded, and all I felt was excitement so powerful it was almost unbearable. I shifted where I sat, and watched as the stars slowly showed themselves.

Nowadays, the only things I really feared were the hallucinations that tended to plague me when I slept, and sometimes even when I was awake. Ever since the first time, the problem had only grown on me like an infectious disease of the mind. At least the visions were sparse and easily ignored.

Turning around, I peered over the ledge of the tower, seeing that already there were zombies manifested. I knew that if there were zombies, the other monsters would come soon after. In no big hurry, I got up and stripped off my slightly damp shirt, before draping it over the high stone ledge beside me. Afterward I located my sweatshirt, which was still hot from the day, and slipped it on. Zipping it up, I made sure to contain as much body heat as possible before the cold started to set in. I returned to my post, leaning against the ledge as I slowly scanned the expanse of desert before me.

My eyes narrowed when I saw a dark figure in the distance, only to be disappointed when I realized it was just a creeper. I expected hours to pass before I finally saw what I was looking for, but that didn't mean I was going to relinquish my vigilance for any amount of time in-between. It was when the moon was highest in the sky, approximately five hours later, that I finally spotted something. Off in the distance, there was a dark figure silhouetted the moonlight reflected off of the sea.

Instantly I stood up and glared at the apparition, my whole body taut as a bow. I saw it move, and faint glimmer of purple sparks followed. My eyes widened and suddenly I could breathe again. I whipped around and grabbed my sword, before running for the ladder. It was a miracle I didn't fall in my haste to get down to the desert floor. Excited, I literally ran for the seaside, knowing that at any second the monster could vanish and I'd be left, again, with nothing.

In the darkness I could hardly see its silhouette against the sea, because from this angle the waters were black as ink. Only the brief, faint flashes of purple light were there to guide me. The desert sands stretched before me, silvery blue underneath the moonlight above; I thought I was safe because I could see no other monsters, or maybe I didn't see them simply because I didn't _want_ to.

My pace slowed when I was close enough to make out the monster's form even against a black background. I reached into my jacket and retrieved my mask, putting it on quickly so I could truly look at the beast without being in danger. By the time I was five yards away I was walking incredibly slow, staring in a mixture of awe and growing terror.

The creature didn't even seem to notice me at first. It stood mostly still, but when it walked it stepped slowly and with ease, making absolutely no sound. Despite its incredibly long legs, its gait remained unsettlingly human. My eyes lingered on its feet, for they looked very strange. I suddenly realized why its legs looked as long as they did; the creature walked on its toes much like a dog, with the heel held high off the ground.

Mid-stride, the monster suddenly stopped. Immediately I looked up and my gaze locked with the monster's. A brief staring contest followed, much like what had occurred in the cave, only this time I struggled to fight back my instinct to turn tail and bolt. I was suddenly very aware of my proximity to the creature, and how incredibly _tall_ it was. It absolutely towered over me. The top of my head would barely reach its navel if I were to stand right beside it. With a slight tilt of its head, I realized suddenly that it wasn't looking at me anymore.

A very distinct '_hiss_' sound came from somewhere behind me. I hardly had time to realize what it was and then attempt to stumble out of the way before an explosion that rocked my entire body went off. I was thrown to the ground, landing hard on my side where I rolled slightly on impact. My ears were ringing, so loud I couldn't hear anything else. Stunned, I just laid there and stared at the crater in the sand where the creeper had just exploded. I was lucky to still be _alive_, but that hadn't quite sunk in yet.

Suddenly I was aware of the numerous monsters that were lurking uncomfortably close, and more than one zombie was hobbling over, curious probably about why a creeper would have just gone off over here. Slowly a bit of my sense returned, and I realized that if I so much as moved, the zombies would notice me and promptly descend upon me. Of course I decided to just stay right where I was and hope with everything in me that they didn't see me.

The feeling of something grabbing onto my hoodie alerted me, and I was suddenly being dragged off with surprising speed. I was pulled down the bank, and came to a stop upon a patch of yellowed grass, away from the prying eyes of any bloodthirsty monsters. Only then did I finally dare to move, and I rolled over to look up at whatever had a hold of me.

A pair of bright purple eyes stared back down into mine.

The first thought that went through my head was that I was about to be slaughtered by this Enderman. This creature which I had spent months trying to find, decided to drag me, its new easy prey, to a more private location to do whatever horrible things it wanted with me. I felt frozen, hardly breathing as I stared back up at the monster, thinking for sure I was going to die.

For a few more moments we stared at each other, and then the creature let go of me and stood up. It looked down at me for a couple seconds longer, before turning its attention elsewhere. I watched, bewildered, as the creature walked off to return to its journey at the desert's edge.

Had it just … _rescued me?_

I sat up and looked around to make sure I was actually safe, and found the coast was clear. Looking back in the direction of where the Enderman had gone, I still couldn't believe what had just happened. _Why_ would it save me? I couldn't wrap my mind around it. Quickly I got up to climb back up the bank and find the monster again.

My hopes died when I found it was nowhere to be seen.

A growl sounded behind me, and my heart rate accelerated. I unsheathed my sword and turned around; three zombies had spotted me, but this time I was ready for them. My frustration fueled my aggression, and I charged at the first monster, impaling it through the chest with my sword until the hilt slammed into its body with enough force to take it off its feet, and we both hit the ground. I stood up and tore my sword from the zombie's decaying body, hearing a couple loud snaps as I wrenched the blade free. The dying monster grabbed for me, clutching onto my pant leg as I tried to step away. I sneered in disgust behind my mask as I tried to kick free; I didn't realize how quickly one of the other zombies was coming up behind me until it was already on me.

Both my arms were restrained by the monster, and I was pulled backward, brought so close to the zombie I could smell the sour stench of decay. The smell was everywhere now, as the second one still standing stepped over its fallen comrade and advanced upon me with hands outstretched. A spike of fear lanced through me when the monster drew so close I was able to see every detail of its rotting face. Its flesh looked like hardened leather, its lips permanently pulled back to expose every one of its teeth. One of its eyes was completely missing, and the other was milky white, yet somehow it seemed to sense exactly where I was even without the apparent ability to see.

It grabbed onto my clothing, groaning as it tried to tug me closer. The zombie behind me bit into my shoulder suddenly, but luckily it got a mouthful of my sweater instead of my flesh. Panicked, I lashed out, breaking the arm of the zombie behind me to wrench my own free. I hit the one in front of me with my sword, ripping its gut open, spilling rotting entrails onto the previously pristine sand below us. The monster didn't at first seem to notice. It continued to hold on to me, lurching forward from the blow, it tried to bite into my neck but I pulled backward hard and managed to avoid it.

I whimpered when the zombie behind me tugged me backward sharply in an attempt to rip off the part of my sweater it currently had in its mouth. Lashing out in a panic, I hit the zombie in front of me right in the jaw with the hilt of my sword, and that time the creature fell sideways, its jaw unhinged from the blow. Now I was able to tear free from my remaining attacker, forced to relinquish my sweater for the time being. I quickly unzipped it and wriggled free, and the moment I did so I aimed a blow right at the monster's skull. It split open like a melon, and the monster fell to the ground with my jacket still clutched in its hands. I retrieved the garment, kicking the still-twitching corpse after I managed to get it.

It would take me forever to get the smell of death out of my jacket now, and I was even angrier than before. I headed back to my watchtower, deciding to remain topless. I couldn't help but wonder how the hell I was supposed to bring myself to kill Endermen now, after one had just gone out of its way to save my life.

(())

The next morning, I would see something glimmering in the sand on my way back home. I went over and nudged it with my foot, the iron plating on the toe of my boot scraping against it as I did.

Further investigation proved it to be a large, perfectly spherical object, nearly the size of my head. It was dark bluish green in color, fading to black in the center. It seemed to glimmer in a fashion similar to a tiger eye gem, and the surface reflected light like it had been polished to perfection. It was unlike anything I'd ever seen, and yet the moment I laid eyes on it I knew what it was.

My first Ender Pearl… and I hadn't even had to kill anything to get it.

When I got back home, I just went up straight to the attic to place the object in the chest reserved for only my most precious belongings. I stood in the middle of the room for a long time, just holding the surprisingly light object in both hands as I gazed for a long time at the chest, then looked over at my bed which was right beside it.

For some reason, I felt incredibly reluctant to put the pearl out of my sight just yet. Instead of storing it away, I walked over and sat down on the bed with it.

Before, I had thought it was just the heat of the desert sand tricking me into thinking it, but now that I had the thing here I began to wonder if the object was secreting some sort of warmth. I ran my hands over it, and there wasn't one spot I didn't feel the same, gentle heat.

Eventually I lay down with it, curling up in a ball with the pearl underneath my jacket as I held it pressed against my body. It felt very warm, just like the heat of the desert sand less than an hour after sundown. Somehow, that was enough to lull me into the first good sleep I'd had all week.

When I woke up, I was left wondering how long I'd slept. I felt heavy and warm, and the Ender Pearl was still pressed against my lower abdomen. I ran my hand over it, gazing down at it with tired eyes. I didn't want to leave my bed, or the pearl, but it was daylight out and I still had to go find some animals to slaughter to replenish my food stores.

Reluctantly I got up. I placed the pearl safely in the chest beside my bed before I moved to leave.

Soon the sky was starting to darken, and I'd only managed to take down one small pig and two chickens, which admittedly wasn't a bad hunt for only three hours' time. The sun was disappearing fast, causing me to speed up my steps as I made a bee-line through the forest straight for home; the two chickens I held by their broken necks bumped against my thigh as I walked.

It was the time of day where the sun was level with the ground, casting long shadows through the trees; the odd light was enough to play tricks on anyone's eyes, but I stopped dead in my tracks when out of my peripheral I caught sight of movement. Immediately I focused on it, standing stock still as my mind slowly made sense of what I was seeing.

There stepping out from momentary obscurity was a humanoid. My first thought was that it was a zombie, but the sunlight was still too prominent for such monsters to dare show themselves now. The way it was moving, with a slight hobbling gait, made me second guess myself, but then I realized it was only moving that way from apparent pain. It was wearing clothes, although they were torn, reaffirming my assumptions of this newcomer being hurt.

I felt something inside me spark as I realized this was probably another person, like me, lost out here. It was less my desire to help and more my desire to simply not be _alone_ anymore that I immediately reacted, and headed for that figure.

"Hey," I called, but my voice cracked from lack of use.

I called out again, louder and more clearly this time, but still the figure didn't react to me. Undeterred, I quickly walked toward it. As I neared, I realized it certainly _was_ a person, female from the looks of things though I couldn't see her face because her back was turned to me.

Slowing down when I neared her, I noticed she was limping. I felt concerned, but at the same time a strange type of fear was slowly creeping over me. I couldn't figure out why I was feeling that way, and I certainly couldn't bring myself to just run away from a person who obviously needed help, and who was probably the first real human I'd seen since I woke up in this forsaken world.

At this point I had lagged behind so far that a rather sizable gap had formed between us. I watched her suddenly turn behind a tree, where she stopped walking since I didn't see her move past that. I stopped, too.

"Hello…?" I called uncertainly.

The necks of the chickens I was holding had grown uncomfortably spiny under my hand, the sweat from my skin soaking into the feathers and causing them to seemingly lose all softness. I could tell a few had rubbed off onto my palm as well, and were stubbornly sticking there.

It was in this moment of unnatural calm that I realized how dangerously dark it was getting; it was now or never; I had to confront this person or run back home as fast as my feet could carry me. My legs felt numb as I neared the tree, and I stopped the moment I caught sight of her, sitting there on folded legs with her back to me. She wasn't moving, not even to breathe, she was so unnaturally quiet and still; it was enough to cause the hair on the back of my neck to stand on end.

"Hello?" I called for the last time. Even now my voice sounded alien to me.

Suddenly she shifted, and then she looked back at me. What I saw would haunt me for days.

There was nothing where her face should have been; there was simply nothing there but a dark, cracked void. A sharp gasp left me and I stumbled backward at once, tripping immediately over a loose stone that had been in just the right spot for my foot to land on it. Quick as a rabbit I was back on my feet and running toward home without looking back. I could hear my heart beating in my ears as I ran; it was seemingly the only sound besides my own panicked breathing.

It was pitch black outside by the time I made it to my door, and the moment I got inside I pressed my back against the door and slid down into a sitting position, trying desperately to catch my breath. I hadn't stopped running once since I'd begun, and miraculously, I still had those two dead chickens clutched firmly in my hand.

I told myself over and over again what I'd seen was simply a hallucination, but that was hardly any comfort. Even the few that came while 'dreaming' never lasted that long, or were so vivid. Sleep brought shadow monsters, nothing more. I didn't know what exactly had crept into the depths of my mind to make these visions happen, but I knew _something _had. I brought my knees up and hugged them to my chest, silently forcing myself to calm down. This world was full of enough _real_ monsters; I had no time to acknowledge imaginary ones.

(())

The next few days I spent gathering supplies, and I made sure to always get home well before the sun touched the horizon.

On the second day I spotted an Enderman in broad daylight hiding out in the shade of a tree. It was holding a rose in its hand, twirling it between its fingers. I was only able to watch for few seconds before the creature simply vanished, leaving purple ashes in its wake. The apparition brought a little pang of hope, since I now knew that at least _one_ of those elusive monsters had wandered close to my home.

On the third day, I got in a fight with a creeper. It was the first time I'd really gotten up close and personal with one instead of just managing to avoid the beast completely or more often, almost getting blown to pieces by it without even spotting it in the first place. It had almost snuck up on me, and by the time I saw it I had no other choice but to ram my sword through its skull, or me and the surrounding area would have been reduced to vapor. After it fell, I poked at it with my sword a couple times to make sure it was dead, and then I kneeled beside its body; I'd never had the chance to examine one up close like this before. I ran my hand gently over its long neck, fascinated when I discovered what I thought was its 'fur' actually felt rough, almost crunchy like dead leaves.

My curiosity continued to get the better of me. I ended up dissecting the monster right there in hopes of finding out what made it tick. What I found was a chamber inside its gut that held a strange powder that smelled of sulfur, but unfortunately I was unable to dig much deeper for I only had my sword at my disposal. Not to mention, I was somewhat afraid that one wrong move would cause the beast to explode despite it already being dead. I left the carcass for the scavengers and headed back home.

That night, like every night, I slept with the Ender Pearl; it kept the nightmares at bay, though every day I had at least one hallucination to make up for it. It had gotten to the point where I'd just deliberately ignore them. It was hard, and sometimes the fear overcame me and I had to run back to my room and cuddle up with my Ender Pearl until I calmed down. The vision I hated most was the one of the man with the glowing white eyes, only because it recurred so much and never ceased to freak me out. It was always a passing glimpse, or he'd be standing somewhere far enough away that I'd be able to see him but never have any hope of catching him. Usually I'd spot him from my window, for he'd be standing at the edge of the forest that surrounded my home and be just _staring_ back at me. Once I had tried to run outside to attack him, chase him off, or _something_, but by the time I'd gotten out the door he'd vanished.

Even through all this, I never lost sight of my original goal. After my food stores were finally built back up, I left my house again for the desert; it was easier to spot Endermen when they hadn't any trees to hide behind. With a lack of better judgment I brought my Ender Pearl with me, along with the usual amount of supplies.

I arrived at my lookout post an hour from sunset, and climbed the ladder to the top. I set down my backpack as well as the special pouch where I kept my Ender Pearl. Normally said pouch would have been used for carrying extra food and water, but the lack only meant I had to go home a day or two earlier than last time. Kneeling, I took out the pearl and then sat down with it to await nightfall.

Not even the pearl could soothe me right now. Up until now I had just been stalling, wasting time; tonight that would end. I had to begin killing Endermen. I didn't know how much time I truly had to reach The End, and with eleven more pearls to collect I was terribly far from it.

Suddenly I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head and jumped when I saw the frowning, vacant face of a creeper peering back at me from over the ledge of the watchtower. I quickly reached for my sword, but even as I did so I had the startling realization that there was no way a creeper could be tall enough to look over the ledge like that. The mere thought of a beast with a neck that long and thin actually sent chills down my spine. I forced myself to look away, for only a second, and when I looked back the apparition was gone.

With a soft sigh of frustration, I sat back again and glared at the sky to watch as it grew steadily darker. When the first star began to shine, I carefully set my pearl back in its pouch, and stood up. I pressed my hands against the ledge of the tower and leaned against it, staring out at the vast expanse of sand. Already there were three creepers scurrying about together in the distance, and I could spot at least five skeletons and ten zombies scattered around as well. No Endermen, yet.

My heart thumped hard in my chest. For the first time, I actually hoped I wouldn't see any tonight. Not only was I terrified to fight one of those things, I didn't know if I'd be able to bring myself to kill one. I'd begun to feel differently about those creatures. An understanding had been reached the night one had pulled me from danger, even if I had run right back into said danger shortly after. They weren't the dark, sinister, bloodthirsty things I'd expected them to be.

But I didn't have the luxury of letting myself think these thoughts. I had to slay them, because there was simply no other way. Finding the answer to why I had ended up in this place, and maybe even finding out who I was were all that mattered.

Hours passed with no sighting as per usual on these lookout missions. It was a mere eventuality, however, that I would indeed spot one. There in the distance, a dark silhouette against the nearly luminescent sand, I saw the familiar spindly figure of an Enderman idly walking along. They always wandered like they were lost, no particular direction or destination to get to.

I put on my mask and moved toward the ladder. The path to my target was obstructed by a creeper and two skeletons, but I didn't care about that. I unsheathed my sword and headed right for my first enemy- one of the skeletons. I took off its head before it could even react, and didn't even stop to watch its bones clatter to the ground.

Breaking into a sprint, I shattered the second skeleton's bow with a quick strike of my sword, and then attempted to shove the creature to the ground by shouldering it in the ribs. All I did was hurt myself, and give the skeleton an opportunity to grab me. I hissed with rage as my sweatshirt was snagged, and then the monster shoved me backward with surprising force. I landed flat on my back, but somehow managed to keep hold of my weapon. Enraged, I got back up and lunged at my opponent. My sword cut clean between the vertebrae of its spine, underneath its ribs, and I slammed into it shoulder-first once more shortly after. Its top half hit the ground a good three feet away from its legs.

I watched its top half continue to move as if nothing happened, and it attempted to crawl toward me for some reason. I ignored it and headed for the creeper, which was still a good distance away. At this point I was barely even breathing hard. I broke into another sprint in order to blind-side the creeper, and I shoved my sword deep into its neck, right below its skull. It was dead before it even hit the ground. I pulled my sword out of its body, and finally focused on my true target.

The Enderman was a lot closer than I'd expected it to be. Maybe just six yards away, it stared at me with those glowing purple eyes. I hesitated. There was no way I'd be able to just run up and murder it like I did with those three monsters before it, and yet that was the only surefire way of coming out of this alive. If I could kill it before it realized I was a threat, I'd be safe and this would be over.

A wave of despair washed over me. I stood over the dead body of the creeper, holding my sword so tightly that my hand started to ache. My body remained taut as I tried to picture a good way to just attack; end it quick, end it without a struggle.

Those eyes just continued to look right through me.

I finally tore my gaze away, letting go of a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. My body lost a good amount of its tenseness when I realized there was only one way I could do this and still be able to live with myself afterward.

Slowly, I reached up and removed my mask. Dropping it to the ground where it landed heavily on the soft sand, I kept my gaze averted for a moment or two longer. Hesitantly, I finally looked up, and locked eyes with the monster. I watched its mouth open- a mouth I hadn't known existed previously, and was instantly amazed by the brilliant purple of the inside. Its jaw seemed to unhinge, and it didn't seem to have any teeth, just jagged edges where its lips should have been; it reminded me of a bear trap.

Suddenly horrified again, I readied my sword, just as it lunged at me with a wicked hiss.

(())

The sun had broken over the horizon, and I watched coldly as the zombies and the skeletons in the distance suddenly burst into flame. I barely acknowledged it as one zombie tried to run at me only to collapse about five feet short in a flaming pile of burnt flesh and bone.

My clothes and hands were stained with a bright purple fluid that seemed to glow in the half light. Against my body, I held a single Ender Pearl in one hand. It was still dripping with that violet fluid, and its surface was hardly visible because of the amount of the stuff covering it.

My body felt bruised and I ached everywhere. That Enderman had throttled me and bashed me around for a good ten minutes before I was able to do anything about it. For now, my mind was the only thing that remained mercifully numb.

I made it sluggishly up to the top of my watchtower, and placed my new pearl in with the other one, not caring about the mess. After that I just sat down on the mat I used as a bed, and stared out at the colors of the sunrise with a blank expression.

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><p><em>AN2: Tell me your thoughts please, I'd love to hear anything._


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: For your sake, I will not be doing extremely long chapters anymore like what I did the first two. And for those curious, I now have one more drawing of the main character in my DA gallery here:

fav(dot)me/d4nixa3

That is all. Enjoy.

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><p>Darkness prevailed outside. It was so pitch black that it was impossible to see anything beyond my windows, giving me the unsettling feeling of being watched. All I could hear was the sound of rain as it mercilessly pounded the earth outside. I was actually grateful for the background noise; it was comforting in its normalcy.<p>

I was sitting downstairs on the floor in front of my furnace simply for the warmth it provided. The storm had interrupted one of my swimming sessions, and my hair was currently damp and keeping me far cooler than was comfortable. For no other reason than the fact I was growing restless, I reached over to grab another piece of wood to shove into the furnace. Afterward, I shifted so that my back was facing the fire instead, and the heat was almost alarmingly powerful. It would have probably lulled me if I wasn't currently faced with the huge, pitch black window that made up the majority of the wall.

Suddenly I itched to run upstairs and grab my Ender Pearl, but I didn't. I just continued to stare into that impenetrable darkness, my eyes struggling and failing to see past it. For a second I thought I saw a figure, hardly outlined in the black. It was grossly elongated, humanlike and yet the more my eyes picked out the more I realized how bent and broken it was. Yet somehow, it managed to stand, so close to my window I wondered if it was actually pressed against the glass.

There was a sudden, bright flash and a thunderous boom, and I leaped backward with a loud yelp. Quickly, I scrambled forward again to prevent burning myself on the furnace that was already too close behind me. Luckily I'd shut the door to it otherwise I would have probably caught myself on fire.

I turned and pressed my back against the wall, hugging my legs to my chest. After a moment of staring out that window, I pressed my forehead against my knees and shut my eyes tight as I struggled to get my bearings back; a lame attempt at retreating from reality and from fear in hopes of finding some sort of happy place. I'd never really succeeded in finding one, but I managed to calm down enough anyway to get up and hastily climb the ladder up to my room where I practically dove for my bed and the pearl lying on it. I curled up with my back to the wall and the pearl pressed hard against my body as I hugged it tight. The sound of the rain pouring down upon the roof was twice as loud up here, almost deafening.

There came another flash of lightning and roar of thunder. I closed my eyes and refused to open them again. A few minutes passed, and suddenly I thought I heard scratching, like sharp little claws scraping against the floorboards. The sound seemed to move lazily from one side of my room to the other, and I struggled not to picture what could possibly be there, slowly dragging its nails across the wooden floor.

I refused to open my eyes, despite every instinct screaming at me to do so.

The scraping came closer, until I was sure the intruder was now sitting right in front of my bed. The feeling of its eyes on me was palpable. Still, I refused to look. What could have been minutes passed, until slowly the sensation of being watched simply faded. My body felt uncomfortably hot from the stress, and the hand I had pressed against my Ender Pearl was slick with sweat; my heart was pounding. I still didn't dare open my eyes and eventually I succumbed to exhaustion, falling asleep to the sound of the pouring rain.

The next morning would begin with the shock of falling off the bed and onto the floor. In a blind panic I lashed out, before struggling to get up. My movements were clumsy from a sleep-induced haze that had yet to clear, but the shock of pain from knocking my head against the block of wood I used as my nightstand caused that to quickly dissipate. I pushed myself further upright with a soft grunt, my back still pressed against the solid wood.

I had dreamed of a world with a sky black and obscured by static, and the ground made of light-colored stone covered in shallow dips and grooves, but neither of these things were what bothered me. What bothered me were the pillars. They were pitch black and tens of feet wide, made of smooth unbreakable glass that stretched upward until I couldn't see them anymore. The land was barren and flat except for these randomly scattered pillars, and no discernable life existed here.

There was a sound that I remembered as well, a low incoherent whispering that had gotten progressively louder as time passed. It sounded like hundreds of voices clamoring to speak at once, desperately trying to tell me something; I realized later they were trying to _warn _me. A massive dark shape appeared in the static above, and the voices ceased. This apparition had me staring in wonder and rising trepidation, until the massive thing finally broke from the obscurity. I remembered its vivid purple eyes, not unlike what I'd seen on Endermen themselves, and the expanses of its wings that stretched for seemingly miles in both directions. I didn't know if it was really coming after me, and I guess I never would because I'd woken up after toppling off the bed before I had the chance to find out.

A deep feeling of malaise still held in my subconscious like a thick, sticky ooze, I almost felt nauseated. My gaze landed on the Ender Pearl lying at my feet, and I had a brief moment of confusion. I didn't remember it being there, but then again I hadn't exactly been fully aware this entire time. More out of reflex than anything I reached out and grabbed it, holding it close to my body as I stared out the window across from me. Dawn had barely broken, but at least the rain had slowed to a bare drizzle.

I could have been sitting there trapped in my own thoughts for hours, before a sudden sound broke me from my dismal reverie. It was a sound I'd heard before, and my subconscious reacted first with a sharp spike of panic that had me hitting the floor and reaching underneath my bed to grab for the hilt of my sword; I was on my feet with my back to the wall and weapon in hand, all without having at first realized what the sound even was.

It had come from downstairs, so I carefully began creeping my way over to the hole in the floor from which my ladder descended. Whatever it was, I could hear it moving, dragging itself along like some sort of gigantic serpent. I could hear its loud and laborious breathing, like it was struggling to take in air through fluid built up in its lungs. At that point it sounded like nothing I'd ever heard before, and I could feel myself trembling as I tried desperately not to make a sound with every, cautious step I took. My feet were bare, which helped, but that did nothing to thwart the treacherous creaky floorboards that existed like landmines all over this room. I went so far as to attempt to make a mental map of where I knew some of them existed, and I actually wished I'd gone and made an actual map just for this purpose beforehand.

A few thoughts crossed my mind during those few tense moments, such as; how the hell did something even break in without at first going through the door or at least a window first? There had been no sound of breaking glass, or breaking _anything_ like there logically should have been. There was a moment in which I wondered if what I was hearing was real, and I paused about two feet from the ladder to wait a moment. It didn't disappear. The sounds were loud, and now all I could hear was the deep, watery breathing. The thing wasn't moving anymore.

The last few steps were made, and I pressed myself against the wall as I looked down through the hole at the first floor. The first thing I noticed was the smears and splotches of a bright violet substance on the floor, leading from one point to across the room where I couldn't see. My heart sunk as realization dawned on me, and I had to pull away from the sight.

With my back to the wall, I took a deep shaky breath and closed my eyes for a moment, wishing desperately that all this was just some elaborate hallucination. The sounds didn't stop, and I bit my lip hard, closing my eyes even tighter. Still, my attempts failed to make any difference. I was forced to concede. Slowly, I inched closer, and peered back down the hole at the same scene I saw earlier. Nothing possessed blood of that particular quality, nothing but Endermen, as I was now intimately aware of.

I already knew I was going to have to kill it. I was going to have to, not only because it had the high probability of killing me first if I didn't, but also because this was basically my next Ender Pearl that had just wandered in for the taking. The creature was obviously wounded, anyway, probably already near death; I'd be doing it a favor, putting it out of its misery. I had to tell myself that, or I probably would have gone and grabbed my mask to attempt to befriend the thing. It was stupid of me to even consider that; of course it was the first thing I almost began to consider.

It took me a while before I finally got up the nerve to go down there, and when I did I didn't bother using the ladder. I blame my thoughtlessness on fear and anxiety. I just hopped down and didn't quite stick the landing, twisting my ankle on impact so that I immediately collapsed to the floor; thankfully, I had the sense to somehow toss my sword in mid-fall so that I didn't land on it. Running on pure adrenaline, I was shaking when I forced myself up to my feet, not at first realizing I'd hurt myself until I stood on my injured leg and nearly fell to the floor again. I half-stumbled backward, my back hitting the wall with enough force to knock some of the breath from me.

Immediately I saw it, the crumpled black figure standing at the back of the room. I'd never seen one of these creatures in the light like this, even if it was just the slight illumination of the sun not yet having broken the horizon. Its eyes glowed bright as embers in the comparative dimness of the room as it stared back at me, taking in my sudden presence. Its black flesh looked burned as if by acid, and from the punctures thick violet fluid dripped forth like glowing liquid veins running down the length of its long, thin arms and the rest of its body. After the blood had hit the floor, it began to lose its glow; the smears nearest me were already dull blackish stains, no longer brilliant.

It turned to face me, its movements obviously labored as it held on to anything nearby to keep from slipping. Violet fluid spilled from its jaws to join the growing puddle already formed on the floor below, and a strange low gurgling sound erupted from its throat. At the moment it didn't even occur to me that the rain had caused this much damage; water did to Endermen what sulfuric acid would to a human. In other words, after last night's rain storm, this monster was lucky to even be alive; if you could call this sorry state _lucky._

I realized then that the Enderman was coming at me, practically dragging itself across the floor as it stumbled forth; even in its pain, still determined to kill me. Any pity I had for this creature completely evaporated and gave way to instinct; I dove for my sword. I plucked it up off the floor and stumbled sideways a bit, my shoulder colliding with one of the many storage chests I had placed against the wall. The monster turned toward me a bit more swiftly than before, and I heard its blood pattering against the floor like rain.

Not allowing myself to think twice, I lunged with a burst of adrenaline and rammed my sword through the monster's chest. The creature was knocked off balance by the force of the attack, stumbling backward and taking me with it. The creature fell against my workbench, and then slid to the floor. I was unable to keep my footing through this due to a mixture of the Enderman being heavier than me, and my injured ankle; so I was forced to relinquish my hold on the sword and fall unceremoniously beside the creature in a puddle of semi-luminescent blood.

Violently trembling, I slowly pushed myself up, staring numbly at the blood pooled around my hands. It was cool despite its freshness, like stagnant water in the morning, and it smelled of metal. I looked over at the creature, confirming that it was indeed dead, lying there on the floor in an ungraceful heap that caused a twinge in my heart. I grimaced and looked away, at the same time attempting to carefully push myself up and onto my feet again. I stumbled a bit before succeeding in focusing most of my weight on my uninjured foot. Awkwardly I stood, staring down at what I'd done, and as the adrenaline faded so did my strength.

The pain in my ankle was like throbbing fire, rapidly rushing to the fore of my awareness. I saw what I'd done not with pride or even apathy, all I could feel was this emptiness so vast I feared I'd just fall into the void and never be able to come back. Something ice cold and sharp cut into my mind, I felt something important snap and rend.

Maybe I thought it would be different the second time. Maybe I thought it would be easier, I wouldn't feel a_ thing_…

In a way, I was right.

The body of the Enderman rapidly decayed to dust before my eyes, becoming nothing more than a strange discoloration on the floor. My sword clanged loudly as it fell with nothing to hold it up anymore, and I saw the new Ender Pearl, my prize, as it rolled to the side before coming to a stop alongside my sword. The blood, however, did not leave. The sticky substance remained on the floor in darkening puddles, and also on my clothing, in my hair, on my hands and face.

For some reason I found it hard to care, even though for a second I really did attempt to.

Everything felt so distant as I fell to my knees, and I covered my face with my smudged hands. I felt the tears flowing, the burning heat of the emotional response as it seared my eyes and yet, incredibly, I began to laugh. I don't remember finding anything particularly funny; in fact, I hadn't found anything particularly _funny _in a long time. Still, I couldn't stop. The tears kept coming, I kept laughing, and I dug my own jagged nails into my forehead. The pain blended deliciously with the pain I was already experiencing, until finally it was enough to break me out of my stupor.

It ended with me getting up and chucking a particularly thick piece of firewood through one of the front windows of my house in a fit of sudden rage. The glass did nothing to impede the velocity of the object I'd thrown, giving way and shattering into a million pieces with a sound that tore asunder the relative peace of the morning.

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><p>AN: Reviews welcome.


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